


One Headlight

by Foile_a_lalonde



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/M, Implied drunk driving, Implied/Referenced Suicide, One-Sided Relationship, Sad Ending, Suicide, just really sad, no one wins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 12:46:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4522581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foile_a_lalonde/pseuds/Foile_a_lalonde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Song fic for The Wallflower's song One Headlight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Headlight

Dirk stood with his back turned to the cemetery trees behind him. He bit his lip, tears blurring his view on the book he was 'reading'. A flurry of brief flashes of that ridiculous black lipstick surrounding a smile that lit up an entire room, her bobbing blonde hair nodding to sleep in the pick up's passenger seat, pink heels higher then she was in her curled up arms-

His flashback was interrupted by the steady lull of the Eulogist's voice

"Roxy Lalonde, was an always smiling friend to-"

Dirk cringed and snapped the book shut. He pushed his glasses up briefly to wipe his now puffy eyes.

_"What the fuck are you doing you damned idiot,"_

he muttered to himself turning to go, He managed to catch a snippet of the low chatter from the procession

"I heard she died 'easy' of a broken heart disease,"

"I feel bad for that Dirk boy, she seemed to be his only friend,"

Dirk slammed his eyelids shut, fighting out the rays of the dying sun, and stalked away to his beat up pickup. Roxy insisted on getting it, saying it reminded her of independence day. Dirk didn't understand what she meant, but got it anyway. He roughly opened the truck door, pulled himself in and slammed it shut. His arms were on the wheel now, now his head. Dirk stayed there a while, he wasn't exactly sure how long, but by the time his hand was going to turn the key the sun was long gone. 

Dirk turned the already-inserted key. The engine turned over twice, then sputtered to a stop. He sighed and tried again, to no avail.

_This damned truck_

Why did this have to happen today, of all days?! He tried once more, and the hunk of metal Dirk was growing to hate finally (finally!) shuddered to life. He pulled out of the lot and turned his headlights on. One was out from when he and Rox- No. Not right now. Now is not the time. He clenched his hands on the wheel and hit the gas, driving anywhere away from here. He couldnt go home, not with the broken bottles and slammed open door to the roof..

"NO!"

This time he yelled the refusal aloud. His foot pressed harder on the gas pedal, the yellowish light casting an uneven spotlight on the dusty secluded road. A sign with a town name on it whipped past, but Dirk didn't need to see it to know where he was going. It seemed in his hastiness not to go home and leave the cemetery, he managed to get himself on a road to home. He groaned and slowed down to a more legal pace.

Roxy wouldn't have approved, but Roxy wasn't here right now.

Dirk pushed up his shades which had fallen slightly in his outburst and pulled into an old bar. Before he got out of the car he took a moment. Is this really what he had been brought down too? Outbursts and crying? Was he a fucking 2 year old?! He took a breath in hopes of calming his uncharacteristic outburst and got out of the car, slamming the door again. He stepped into the ancient pub, which smelled of cheap wine and cigarettes.

"This place is a  _mess_ ,"

He complained under his breath, walking to the bar area. It took Dirk a minute to asses where _exactly_ he was before the tidal wave hit him.

The pretty face that stood out among drunken 40 year old men, the longing in her slurred voice for something new, something different. The ride home, the two years spent together, the independence day parade,

Dirk collapsed on a bar stool, the bartender looking dismally at him. The sadness infuriated Dirk for some reason. What right did he have to feel sad for him?! Dirk had lost his bestfriend/whatever the fuck was going on between them, and this guy just-

"What'll it be my friend?"

Dirk's inner monologue was interrupted by the melancholy voice. He closed his eyes behind the darkened lenses and leaned onto the counter.

"As much vodka $10 can buy,"

Dirk said bitterly, remembering Roxy say those exact damn words. How ironic. The bartender gave him a look, but set down about 5 rounds of shots.

"Look, buddy, you cant be driving after this alright?"

Dirk scoffed and took the first glass, downing it without a word. Damn did it burn. But it was a good pain, at least to him.

Is this what Roxy felt every Saturday night? After every failed flirting attempt? Every denied confession?

Dirk imagined Roxy sitting in his exact seat. Imagined how she felt after each blunt turn down.

Suddenly there were only two shots left.

Dirk looked bitterly at his reflection in one of the empty glasses, his face distorted and upside down.

He was responsible for her death.

One shot left.

She jumped off the _fuckin' roof_ because of him.

A glass shattered in slow motion. Blood smeared on the table top.

Shouting, pushing, a slamming door. Another.

Dirk is now sitting at the wheel.

Dirk is now at his front door.

Dirk is now on the roof.

Dirk is now..

Dirk felt the hot tears run down his face, the wind slightly ruffle his already matted hair.

Is this how Roxy felt? Standing here, knowing there was no chance for her? More vodka in her veins then blood?

Now the glasses were off and in pieces.

Did she know the tracks the tears left on dust-stained cheeks?

Was she familiar with the feeling of taking a step, but nothing there?

Is there a Heaven?

Dirk probably wouldnt get in.

Is there any chance to turn back?

Is-

**Author's Note:**

> i am so so sorry  
> (originally posted on my instagram @arachnids.grip.182, some edits were made for quality)


End file.
